When we imagine success or try to define it, we often picture the external circumstances that go with it such as : fame, power, wealth, prestige … purely an extrinsic motivation. In fact, it’s more accurate to embrace a way of living, because circumstances can always change (setbacks, covid 19 …). That lead us to intrinsic motivation as being a better person, cultivating deeper relation, making contribution to the world etc.
Of course you need a balance between the two : it’s not 100 % one and 0 % for other. As Grant Cardone like to pitch : with money you can buy a good education, nice clothes, go to restaurant, take vacation, take care of your family … But I do think that money it’s a byproduct of our passion and Cardone is an awesome example by being a great entrepreneur and motivator. Even if you are successful in an extrinsic way, you will be less psychologically stable as people who are looking for intrinsic motivation. Grant Cardone before being successful faced adversity, drugs … and thanks to that he built resilience finding joy by helping people to reach their goals and building a great company via a show of style : but he has credibility vs fake instagram story telling.
But nothing is stable in life and we are always on a tight rope trying to find our balance. Welcome to the equanimity game, from Marcus Aurelius, or how to recover your balance as quickly as possible when life knocks you of the center. It’s why I think succes is not so much a safe shore (final goal) you can reach but rather a never ending process you should persistently chart. This approach is better for our emotional health as well as our careers. It’s why I like to coach people how to build up good habits and delete the kryptonite.
4 mental tools to help ourselves along a lifelong journey
To help us along this journey, Erika Andersen gave us 4 mental tools i want to share :
Focusing on benefits, not challenges, is a good way to increase your aspiration.
Erika Andersen
Aspiration. When you face a challenge don’t blame, celebrate it ! See the opportunity to grow. Psychological research finds that if we can picture how good it will feel to achieve something, we are much more motivated to work on it. Cultivate your why and see the positive side if you go through your challenge. The hell is to have regrets … to be not the best version of yourself.
Self-awareness : Be honest with you … and also use the balm of self-compassion : nobody is perfect and you are not alone in that case. Think about your strengths and your weaknesses and how you can continue to develop and grow. Double down on your strengths … I advise you to check viacharacter.org for knowing what are your strengths.
Curiosity. We are all born with so keep it inside. Curious people are interested in exploring new ideas, activities and experiences, and they also have a strong desire to increase their own personal knowledge. So don’t die at 25 : “Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.”
Vulnerability. When you want to learn a new thing, have the humility to say : I don’t know first as well as “I’m going to be bad at this to start with, because I’ve never done it before. AND I know I can learn to do it over time” By going out of our comfort zone it’s the best way to improve and to deal with our fear … How can you say unsupportive self-talk like “i’m not good enough”, “I’m too old” if you don’t ACT (actions changes things) and be consistent? Be willing to love learning and to try new things, embrace and have fun with your mistakes as me when I started with Zumba … I made the show at my second lesson by being on stage for two minutes accepting my fate and the fun of the situation.
The 8 guiding principles of successful people
The 8 guiding principles that successful people live by are :
Let passion be your guide. Do what you do because you care about it. Money is a byproduct from your passion. "I'm driven by my passion." says Freeman Thomas. Carol Coletta says, "I would pay someone to do what I do."
Be industrious, yet playful. Make your life a game and have fun to play it well … so work hard in a way that feels fun like Richard Branson.
Develop expertise. “Be so good they can't ignore you” I strongly recommend you to read the book of Cal Newport as well as “Deep work”. Be ready to rock 10 000 hours to develop expertise via practice, practice and practice. By the way, Cal Newport challenged the idea of passion … adopting the idea of mastering your craft by telling us :“If you want to love what you do, abandon the passion mindset (‘what can the world offer me?’) and instead adopt the craftsman mindset (‘what can I offer the world?’)”
Maintain focus. Turn pro … don’t be an amateur, decide to go all in and cut all others options. Give your work all the attention it needs : Focus on one thing. Be laser focus.
You want to get stronger … stretch yourself and make your comfort zone bigger. I love pain, pain sets me free
Push yourself. David Gallo says, "Push yourself. Physically, mentally, you've got to push, push, push." You've got to push through shyness, self-doubt … embracing your fear as a bridge to your infinite potential. When you start a new habit, you start tiny and celebrate it and after a while you move from 1 burpee a day to 100 burpees a day by stretching yourself every single day. Sometime you need a buddy to push you … so ask to your mother 😂
Serve others. Be a leader … be fire by something bigger than you. Don’t do things for your own glory … create values for people : I like the principle of LEGACY by giving a better world to the next generation.
Develop Ideas. Cultivate virtues such as curiosity, creativity, love of learning, social intelligence … Like the breathe : inspire the world, hold it and expire by coming up with new ideas. Have a good relationship between the dreamer and the doer. Creativity without execution is useless …
Cultivate your GRIT = intense passion + intense persistence Joe Kraus says, "Persistence is the number one reason for our success." You've got to persist through failure. You've got to persist through crap! Which of course means "Criticism, Rejection, Assholes and Pressure.". No pressure, no diamonds … you need to struggle to transform yourself : no resurrection without a crucifixion … So persist.
So what is your favorite principle ? and take away from this article. Please let me know in the comment or share your experience …
Romain Y.
Change Maker | Motivator
Renaissance
Express your best | Live your quest
Source(s) :
Success of the psychology achievement by Deborah A. Olson
Learning to learn by Erika Andersen
8 secrets of success TED Talk by Richard Saint John